Im so lonely i really want a boyfriend?

Im 17 (female) and ive never had a boyfriend and its driving me CRAZY. Ive only ever kissed 2 people and thats the ƒᴀʀтhest ive gone. People make fun of how innocent i am. I feel pathetic. Girls my age are already having ꜱɛҳ and serious relationships and im still all alone! It doesnt help that i barely have any friends to help soothe the loneliness. I feel like i truly am ready to have a boyfriend and ive been having this weird craving feeling for ꜱɛҳ (even tho im a vιʀԍιɴ) or just love idek i feel like im losing it the isolation is driving me nuts i have no one to talk to or do anything with. Boys dont seem to like me because im very shy and awkward when i try to talk but numerous boys have told me im "hot" until they talk to me and then dont seem interested anymore. Or maybe its me because im too shy to make the effort to talk to them later?? I feel like crap i just want to get guys like a normal 17 year old girl even the freshman are ahead of me! My friends say its because my taste in boys is too limited and picky but i literally have like 3 crushes at once so ???

39 Answers

  • You really are placing too much emphasis on this and getting yourself into a bit of a state over it. You need to relax. Good things come to those who wait. I know it's corny but it's so true. Love comes when you aren't looking for it. Maybe you need to widen your social circle? Join a club, do a sport, join a gym and work out. Do you have a job? A new workplace is a great way to meet new people. It seems to me that you are just lonely. It is also very natural at your age to be curious about ꜱɛҳ and want to experiment but please do not rush into anything. Especially until you figure out what it is you are actually looking for. Is it really a boyfriend or is it just company in general? Do you have extended family? Cousins etc? Could you hang out with them? They may be able to introduce you to more people. If there is one thing that I have learnt it's that you don;t need a partner/ lover to make you happy. You need to be happy within yourself before you can ever be truly happy with someone else. Find what YOU like to do and you will be much happier. Good luck!

  • Looks like I'm not the only 17 years old in that situation, just that I'm a boy. I experience pretty similar things. I have almost zero friends, have been single all my life, I even sometimes feel like I'm invisible because most of my friends are in a relationship or have social skills that I don't have. Yes it does get hard sometimes because I really wish I could experience the feeling one gets when they're in a relationship with someone. To feel like someone in this world not only loves you but also cares about you. I always hear about the fact that girls like "confident" guys and tell myself that perhaps that's why I'm still single. I'm quite shy but whenever I try to be confident I fail miserably.I've been told several times that I'm a nice guy and I know I am. I respect everyone, never talk about someone in their back and am always happy to help people in need. Again there's this saying that "nice guys finish last".I still believe my soul mate is out there.Who knows, might be you.

  • It sounds like you're just lonely and want some attention, which is ok. There's nothing wrong with that. That, combined with you going through puberty is probably driving you crazy. First, stop worrying what other people are doing - most girls and guys your age lie about having had ꜱɛҳ all the time. And it's not a race. It's much better to find the right person than to find the first person.

    When you're not finding love, try working on yourself. You're at the perfect age to start discovering things about yourself. Pick up a hobby, learn another language, expand your music taste, learn to cook, figure out what you want to do in life. Relationships usually happen when you least expect it. And when you find the right guy, you don't want him to think you're boring do you?

    Also, about your awkwardness, I have one rule, where if you follow it, you will never be awkward again. Ready? It's "never try to impress anyone." When I tell that to people, they always say "I'm not trying to impress anyone." People say that, but the truth is everyone is always worried about what other people are thinking about them. But in reality, because everyone is always worried about what others are thinking about them, no one is ever actually thinking about you. What I mean is, no one cares what you say or do because everyone is always too busy worrying about themselves.

    Once you understand that, you won't be awkward or shy or nervous ever again, because you'll understand that no matter what you do, no one cares, so why not act a fool? Why not go crazy and be stupid? People want to be around other people who are fun, and having fun. So have fun with your life, I don't mean ꜱɛҳ, but just let go and enjoy every moment even if there's nothing happening. If you do, people will be naturally drawn to you like moths to a flame. You're going to be fine. Stop stressing about not having a relationship and have fun by yourself. Sooner or later other people will catch on. Trust me, ok kid?

  • Just letting you guys know, im a 23 year old, I didnt lose my vιʀԍιɴity until i was 18. I only managed to kiss a girl for the first time at 17.

    In the years between 18 and 23 ive had 9 girlfriends and had se x like 250 times

    **** just gets better.

  • Calm down... I'm turning 19 and never have a boyfriend ! I just enjoy my life, you're not the only one in this world, I'm sure. But if you really want to, I think it's about your personality, if you're shy, try to go in cute way, try not talking too much, just look and smile ( usually when you shy, you'd talk rubbish a lot and it's awkward so try this baby step or glance and smile, little by little, you'll be more confident.

  • The thing that hit me the most was the part where you said "guys say I'm 'hot' but then when they talk to me they don't find me interesting anymore" to me that is a big wake up call you need to work on your game, girl.

    I'm not saying you need to have ꜱɛҳ or jump on any guys right away but you need to be comfortable in your own skin, being confident and able to express yourself and be relaxed is KEY and right now at 17 you have the time and the energy to figure that out. My advice is work on yourself right now and don't even waste your time thinking or worrying about what other people say and do with themselves or about you.

    Think about this: What if you dedicated an hour or two every day to something you like to do or that you value? Like learning a new language, reading an exciting book, practicing a skill like playing an instrument, juggling, playing a sport or otherwise improving your body or mind. You are a combination of many things and part of that is your skills and experience. When I think of an attractive girl that I want to date she is not only "hot" with a nice body and face, she also has depth to her like she knows about different subjects, maybe she knows another language or is reading an interesting book that she is excited about. When we have a conversation, I can see her passion when she talks about the favorite sport that she plays or some other thing she does. I have dated jock girls, theater girls, travelers and nerds, the thing they all have in common is they have depth and passion for SOMETHING in life that lights them up inside. If I just see a "hot" girl and I go to talk to her but she has nothing going on in her life it is apparent really fast and I will move one when I see she has no depth.

    But do you know who will stay? The guys who don't care if a girl has depth? The sleazebags and the losers who don't have any self respect or respect for others. They are the ones who pick up those "hot" girls and give them attention and the "hot" girls eat it up and never develop any depth. It's a trap and I hope you don't fall into it, because it is easy to do especially as you get older you'll have guys who will keep giving you attention but not because they care, they just want to bang and then they'll get bored and split.

    I hope this makes sense to you and you understand. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions or need more ideas. Work on yourself and the rest will fall into place. If you work on yourself and develop passions and skills you will be a very interesting person and have more confidence naturally without even trying.

  • Just cause you have some slutty classmates do not join the team. Instead just do great in school and get a great career and than when those same girls who think your pathetic are taking care of their 3-4 kids from different guys at the young age of like 25 and have no life. You will be a well paid lawyer or some other professional and have a great man for a husband whom you met at University who is a Dr. Your young you will have plenty of time for guys right now you only have one time to do great in High School and start your life after school strong with a great transcript and the chance of going Ivy League.

  • Start by reading a few dating books to get familiar with the rules of dating.It helps to learn the steps one at a time so you know what to do. Your lack of experience is holding you back so make the most of the time by educating yourself in social skills to get out there and meet the right guys whilst avoiding the wrong guys. Here are some books you can read:

    1)Dating 101:instant cure for the romantic blues. By Melissa Darnay.

    2)The Dirty Seven.ladies beware. By June Marshall

    3)Its Not Hi,Its You. By Christie Hartman.

    4)The Little Book Of Red Flags. By Natasha Burton.

    There are more books out there.Try the local library too.

  • I'm a 17 year old guy and I don't even have any friends. Let alone a girl friend. I live in the isolation of home school. However, I'm confident and think that I'm a cool guy and that I will make a girl happy one day.

  • First of all you sound EXACTLY like me except I'm 14. I'm very shy and awkward around guys, but that's just something that we have to work on. Just try to find things that are easy to talk about like what classes you're taking or something like that. I really hate it but I think that we just have to be patient and wait for the right guy to come around. Also, don't be pressured to have ꜱɛҳ, I suggest waiting until marriage, high school is too young for that stuff.

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