Is he abusive?

Is this guy abusive?

I know this guy for 1 year and we became more than friends. I also have a kid from another guy. So at first all night i guess was the honeymoon phase for about 6 months. Then i started to feel he was demanding alot and i was feeling drained. Then all that happens i started to get the blame. Its like i cannot speak and im being pushed in a corner no way out. Then i wanted to travel and he didnt let me because he was failed asylum. Im always feeling depressed. Eventually i started to meet my daughters dad. He was very supportive. So this guy was telling me either me or him. Giving me ultimatums because he cannot stay like this and his life is very important to him. Since my family dont accept him he was telling me to do something so we dont stay in hiding anymore.. he says you just have to make me happy. I feel so bad im also on anti depressant. The thing is i dont know if im being manipulated or not.. i always justify his actions

3 Answers

  • Sorry to say that this sounds like a very typical case of abuse, mentally that is, not physical or at least to this point in time.

    You really need to get shot of this guy but I am not saying go back to your child’s father unless you wish to.

    This is very easy for me to comment on as I am not living your life nor do I know how strong a person you are but being on anti-depressant tells me that you need some form of support to get shot of this guy for good.

    Don’t want to say the obvious but have you no family that can help you get this guy out of your home, tell them you have made an error of judgement with this relationship and can they be present when you say you no longer love him and it’s over and your to leave immediately ?

    You really need to take a deep breath and ask yourself what are you getting out of this relationship and what is he bringing to the table that makes you want to be with him. I suspect very little if your honest and to the contrary he is bringing you down, affecting your mental health and making you feel like an object he can pick up and play with when it suits and put you down in a corner when he’s fed up. So he’s using you in more ways than you imagine.

    ‘you just have to make me happy’ he states….bloody cheek relationships are meant to be a two way thing.

    Find the strength and resolve somehow to get this guy gone, you need to move on back into the light and find true happiness as I am sure you will find if you give yourself the chance….you owe it to yourself and you owe him NOTHING.

  • You have issues.

    Your daughter’s dad’s being supportive, and so is your family. They know and YOU know the guy you’re with is a waste of time, yet YOU choose to ignore them and secretly carry on this unhealthy relationship.

    I hope you allow your poor daughter to go to her father or your parents, while you continue on this destructive path.

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