My parents are leaving me all alone while they take my siblings to a family gathering. How do I get over the heartbreak of not going?

They were asked not to bring me because my grandmother who has Alzheimers is scared of me due to the dementia. The whole family, aunts, uncles, and cousins will all be there for her 90th birthday tomorrow but me. For some reason she gets extremely frightened and agitated when she sees me and one nurse. The hospice says this is half way common. I feel rejected even though I know she can’t help it. I wish I could go and just not get up in her face where she could become frightened.

I am so upset. I have no friends as I am Aspergers. I can’t really explain how I feel to my parents so I am typing this. I will be alone all day while they are having a wonderful celebration. I had to miss Christmas for the same reason last year though at Christmas my Dad’s parents came to spend the evening with me while my parents and siblings went to Christmas. This time I am alone as my Dad’s parents are out of town.

Please advise. I feel so alienated. I am 14 BTW

6 Answers

  • Even if your grandmother doesn’t mean to, yes, it will still hurt to be left at home and not part of the family event. You are family too. I honestly believe your family should have made better arrangements for you rather than just keeping you home alone. I think that’s cruel. I think somebody should have stayed with you, or you could have been at least nearby your grandmother in another room. Just know that if your grandmother was in her right mind, she would never approve of how you are feeling or being treated. She doesn’t know any better. You didn’t do anything wrong, nor do you deserve this. But unfortunately, it’s just for the sake of her health and comfort.

    I think right now, you should keep yourself occupied. Comedy movies are always helpful. Surf the web and learn something, or go on YouTube and look up videos of people who may share a piece of their life or bad experiences they went through that they overcame.

  • thats mean theyre doing that, especially since she has alzheimers, she not even going to remember who you are anyways, you should remind your parents of that

  • Rejoice in the fact that you get the entire house to yourself!! Order a pizza, watch whatever you want to watch, and relax in peace and quiet. You should thank your lucky stars!!

  • It would be neglect for your parents to leave you alone for a day, especially if you have been diagnosed with asperger’s disease.

    Call 1-800-4ACHILD if in the U.S.A., or Childline (0800 1111) in the U.K. No doubt other countries have similar free phone lines. Canada is 1-800-668-6868, Ireland: Australia:

  • You’re still young. You’ll get over it.

  • You MUST speak to your parents about this ASAP. It’s very helpful that you understand the dementia disease. Just stay away from your grandmother, she won’t even know you are there. PLEASE, be 100% honest and talk to your parents about it.

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