Not sure whether to pay parent back or not?

After 18 i stayed to live at home for a few years.. my mom claims it cost her 50 000 in those years (shelter, and food), and she wants to be payed this amount… although while living at home she never mentioned rent or anything so i felt i sshouldn’t have to pay her anything…

13 Answers

  • no it didn’t cost her that much she paid for rent and things for herself you were just riding along

    she might have been able to get that amount had she rented your room but iis is a lost to her not that it cost her

    my son lived with me about that amount of time and the rent he had been paying else where would have amounted to over $50K true, so I saved hi m that much

  • back dating rental agreement is not what they are talking about, because it just didn’t exist. they want an outright gift. make arrangements to gift them in increments of $500 every month, that should satisfy their urges, and it wil ‘test the waters’ as to what they are REALLY after from you!

  • Yes if you can afford to do so.

  • not if she didn’t mention it at the time

  • It is her job to support you, no mater what the cost was.

  • It’s really not “paying her back” because you two didn’t have an agreement about you paying for room & board. However, now you know that you are expected to pay for your stay and you need to find out from your parent how much she is charging. Then you can decide if you’d rather move out.

    If you decide that you’d like to stay at your parent’s house, you are going to need to negotiate how much you can pay in “back rent”. It’s her house, she doesn’t have to allow you to live there.

    If you have already moved out, you need to decide if you want to pay her something as a goodwill gesture. You don’t have to, of course, but you need to be aware that this will likely have consequences.

  • If there was never any indication that you were going to be charged for your time there, then there’s no reasonable expectation for her to be paid back. It sounds like your mother has some real issues, and I don’t know if you can resolve them with her.

  • If after 18 you were employed you should have contributed toward rent/food etc. As you did not have an agreement, apparently you just took for granted you were still a child. What did you do the few years after 18? Work, bum around, contribute in any way in exchange for your room/board? I think Mom is tired of being your slave and probably doing your wash and cleaning up after you. To keep peace and show appreciation you might arrive at a reasonable $ amount to cover your “freeloading” years to be paid monthly until met. $50G is out of the question but perhaps X months @ $??? would be affordable for you and please Mom.

  • Unless she rented your room after you left it did not cost her anything for your room. You did cause the utilities to be higher and obviously you ate food. 50K is probably what she saved you but you did not cost her anything like that. If she is in need I would help her with her finances, if not wait until she is. However, if she ever mentioned it during the time you lived there and you did not pay, I would pay her something now.

  • Sounds like your moms a real winner. Parents shouldn’t throw back in their children’s faces the cost to protect, house and feed them. Tell her to shove it, you should not have to pay her a thing. She should never have had a kid, unless she has been waiting for a big pay out for her parential woes?

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