why do i feel so ugly?

i feel so insecure all the time. my mum says i'm beautiful, so do my friends and my boyfriend. i don't know if they're just saying it out of kindness and pity.

why am i feeling this way? is there anything that i should do to overcome this?

that's me on the pic. most of the time i find myself staring at it and i cry. i keep on wondering if that's really me.

how about "ugly inside and out" ? i feel so down most of the time. like there are gallons and gallons of water inside my body. it's like, my face feels like sagging and my tummy's so big. girls do you also get that bloated feeling most of the time? time of the month or not?

mr/ms. hmmmmmmmmmm i'm not fishing for compliments. =( goodness...what made you say that?

23 Answers

  • Dear Friend,

    Pretty is more a state of mind.  Everyone can be beautiful or ugly.  It depends on what is inside, so if you feel bad about yourself, you will feel and look ugly.

    I am a woman and I know how the emphasis on looks can be a problem. One of the things I learned was not to be so sensitive about things.

    It seems like you are depressed and need to talk to your doctor about getting some help. There is no shame in that.

    Once a month around our periods our body produces a lot of progesterone.  Progesterone is a downer and can make you cry over nothing.  So it takes a while to feel better.  Some women never feel better.  They just stay in the dumps.

    But believe me, there is something you can do about it.

    First, start doing things that please you, and make you happy. Don't worry about what over people think. Take a warm bath, cook something nice for yourself, make your room and bed pretty and pleasing to you, etc. Be selfish for a while.

    Only be around people who are nice to you and help you to laugh.

    Second, start to explore who you are. What are your values? What kind of a person do you want to be? What are the things you do not like. Are you kind? Do you care about things? What are you good at?

    Build an unshakable center of thoughts and beliefs that are just yours, that you don't necessarily share with other.  Laugh and get lots of exercise and drink lots of water.

    Third, begin to tell yourself that who you are doesn't depend of others. But say: "I am me and that is good."

    Fourth, the feelings of heaviness are not unusual. You really just have to accept the issues of your body, do what you can about it, and try not to be constantly aware of the negative. Bones, skin, hair, etc. it is all the bagɡɑɡe that we carry as individual people.

    You really can choose what you think about. I am old and if I paid attention to all my body issues, I would get depressed, too.

    I could say more, but just this...Breath and relax.

    You will deepen your personal skills as you go. Just do simple things and pay attention to the present. Think about managing your thoughts and accepting your life.

    GOOD LUCK

    Hecate

  • Sounds like you are dwelling on a few imperfections that you might have. That can drive you crazy after a while.

    Try to focus on the things you know you have right. From what the people around you say, there are probably a lot of those to focus on. Don't worry about a few imperfections. That does not define who you are. What defines you is the whole package and apparently, that ain't too bad, so have fun with the good parts and realize that the bad parts don't really matter.

    Enjoy life, enjoy yourself. Try a new hairdo or some different color lipstick. Maybe get an outfit that is a little more bright or bold than you usually wear. You will most likely find that you really are capable of being all that folks say you are.

  • You just have to change the way you feel about yourself. Get your boyfriend or a close friend to make a list of all your good points - lux and personality and say you'll make a list for them to, make it to be a little game if you're embarrassed about asking. Someone did that for me outa the blue an it felt really good, everytym i see the paper i smile. If you're not happy with urself, make small changes, a new haircut, new lipgloss. Little things that make you feel good. You have to discover yourself, find out what you like. clothes make me pretty confident, im not a heels kinda girl, trainers o sandals make my day. I found combats were the most amazin thing for me, simple, but im extra comfortable in em, i jus jazz em up with a cool t-shirt an do my hair nice and wear bangles and earrings. If you're comfortable - YOUR CONFIDENT. It's true.

    But also remember, looks are not everything. Accept yourself. You have a boyfriend, a supportive mum n good friends. They wouldn't be there unless they liked you for who you are. Be happy with what you have. Accept what you can't change. Im guessin your a stunning girl, jus lack the confidence!

    You are really gona get depressed this way, relly hope you can overcome these feelings. The girl in the pic aka you, looks happy. And thats what makes you look good. Who needs to be beautiful, being happy is so much more importnat. Don't compare yourself with other ppl - theres no point, it'll get you down.

    There rely must be something from your past that is making you feel like this, someone said anything? You have to think of people worse off then you. But anyhow, focus on why you feel like this, not whether or not its true, but what made you think like this.

    Source(s): Experience!
  • That might come from a childhood ᴘᴇᴇr problem that caused you to have low self-esteem as you grew up. Did people call you ugly when you were younger? I still feel ugly to this day, just because people made fun of me when I was younger. I call this the "ugly duckling" syndrome. You have troube accepting it when people say you're beaufiful, don't you? Take time out, look yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself you're gorgeous!! Then go out in public (without your boyfriend) and count how many guys approach you. You'll be amazed at the results!! (Don't cheat on your b/f though!)

  • Hi DarkWillow

    Beauty, ugliness, richness, poverty, and many others are there for the purpose of giving us a drive to fight what oppresses us.

    If that's your current balance and you don't like it, fight it if you really need it, go for it!

    Maybe you want to get involved in something complicated, like an activity, a job, a journey that involves you and proves more of you and shows you more qualities as much as more limits: what a chance you've got to show it now that you know it!

    Bye

  • First off, tell your mum how you are feeling, it is important that you share this with her. Just an opinion here, but on the way to the grocery this morning, I passed a big person,then a small person, then a short person then a tall person, someone brown, then white, someone bald, then someone with an afroooooo............well you know what I am getting at, we are all beautiful, and who is the judge of all this anyways, its not me, I will tell you that, but you should accept yourself, and If after talking with mum, you don't feel better, perhaps you should consider talking with someone else. Good luck, and I hope you feel beautiful soon.

  • It's a mixture of your age (early-to-mid teenager?) and societal pressures. Girls are supposed to be pretty, boys are supposed to be athletic.

    A contemporary philosopher recently said "Don't read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly."

    You also need to realize that people never see us as we see ourselves. Not only in beauty, but also in intelligence and character. Most of the emotional bagɡɑɡe we have, we have given to ourselves.

    My advice: accept what other say about you. They can see this part of you more clearly than you can.

  • No wonder you feel that way. Everywhere you look on TV, in magazines....everyone is trying too hard to look perfect. On every page of a magazine, all you see is some perfect girl whos a stick figure with a gallon of makeup on with the perfect lighting and thats supposed to be normal. Noone can be themselves anyomore. Noone knows whats real anymore.

  • This Site Might Help You.

    RE:

    why do i feel so ugly?

    i feel so insecure all the time. my mum says i'm beautiful, so do my friends and my boyfriend. i don't know if they're just saying it out of kindness and pity.

    why am i feeling this way? is there anything that i should do to overcome this?

  • It's all right.

    I feel ugly all the time!

    Everyone says i'm gorgeous,but i don't feel gorgeuos!

    I really hope u feel all right soon:)

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