Yahoo Global Warming, This is Clown Crusher. Can I get help?

First of all, I have my own confession to make. My accusers were right. I really was paid to post here by Exxon.

You may have recently seen the thread by Michael. I never met or even saw Michael, but he was my connection at Exxon. Michael’s recent thread outlined how all the trolling went down.

Initially, my role was to just post content opposed to alarmism. Michael posted all the funny poetry and hot girl pics. But as time went on, my job became less about posting science content, and more about posting nonsense. I objected. I told Michael that I’m a serious writer, and I would not compromise my principles. Michael told me that I was to do as told. I was scared and complied.

But things got worse. I threatened to contact Chevron and work for them. Michael laughed in my face and said The Organization controls all the oil companies.

Then, one day, I met Tatiana while weekly shopping at Safeway. Tatiana was a former weather girl in Moscow Russia, but now working in the Safeway bakery, Moscow Idaho. I know, right? Crazy!

I confided in Tatiana. I told her my problem with The Organization. She was attentive, caring, and beautiful all at once. We fell in love and were to be married.

But Tatiana betrayed me. She was with The Organization! And don’t believe Michael. His so-called “confession” was trick to lure me out of hiding!

And now, I am sitting in an abandoned farm house. I am alone and scared. I need help. Dirac, you don’t need to apologize. I just need your help. Your email is the only email I know (coz you posted it here), so I need you to correspond.

I can’t however, use my own emails because Michael has infiltrated all of them. Dirac, please contact my friend, who is a communications specialist. He will know that it’s you. His email is MisterGrey at g mail.

And pleez hurry! My Neapolitan ice melted and I’m almost out of potato chips [ which are too salty, btw ☹]. I do have a farmer’s disguise and a running tractor, but I’m still afraid to be on the road leading to Safeway.

7 Answers

  • Odd that one would expect anyone to read that much drivel.

  • Your doctor should be able to refer you to someone.

  • what a pathetic person you are who ever you are

  • Or alternatively you could go away so we can discuss science

  • wait so ru emoji troll too

  • Lol. It took two years but Clown Crusher/Mikey finally posted something halfway creative. Equally as pointless as all of the other posts he has made, but at least it was original. 

  • This has to be Dirac

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